#i havent moved that blog in like 4 months
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I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them
#if we want to get ultra specific its because i want to revamp my multi but i refuse to work on it bc im scared of losing all my mutuals 🤪#and i Know thats not likely but i will lose a lot it happens every time i move blogs and i move too often i know i do#i havent moved that blog in like 4 months? at least but i. i have made new blogs and i think people are. tired of it#ive never done anything on ali bc im scared people will see how i write her as Wrong not the canon divergence but like. How /I/ Write Her#like i havent seen so much of pll and im scared to write mean characters bc in the past ive faced a lot of people who.#cant really separate mean muse and nice mun and just kinda assume im mean#and its really hard to write a muse like ali without people who know and understand them#but i cant write w people who know and understand her bc a) i dont even know and understand her and#b) i don't feel like i can enter the fandom bc of how much of pll i havent seen#i am in a constant state of 🧍♂️ and it doesnt matter who i have muse for bc Ultimately kurt is the one i end up on#bc hes easy and people have come to know him and so people are actually interested and excited here#and i think people are still running on the hype of him on a solo blog rather than the multi so its all exciting#i wanted to move jason to a solo for the same reason just hoping people would. care#but uh. i think i just need to lower my muse count and find more people who will interact with whoever i write instead of trying to please#people who only have interest in one person#idk this became a rant i didnt mean it to long story short im everywhere always i just don't have motivation
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life is kicking my ass this year
#text pots#like theres so much growth happening all at once but my anxiety levels are constantly at un unbereable level#i also sleep very little at night and am always exhausted#and i hate that there is so much i cant do right now#i just want this period of my life to be over so i can like. chill and blog and journal and do all the things i usually do#i havent posted anything on here in 2 weeks and i hate it#i havent journaled in months and i hate it#idk man im just always always reeling from all the things i have to do in my free time#first of all emptying my grandmas house to go live there and you gotta decide between paints and find a place for all the forniture you#dont want or her billion paintings on the walls and then buy a sofa and a bed and maybe some shelves for your books but its all so#overwhelming and you dont like. you dont even really know where to begin#because emptying it is the most important thing but your dad gets choked up every time you try to do anything substantial#and i just feel so tired so so so so tired#in the meantime like i have had a dream of resuming driving for like 5 years and i finally started again ive been driving for 4 months#but god its so challenging#and its really hard for me sometimes to see pedestrians in some of the most downtown crossings like sometimes i feel they are just showing#up out of nowhere ! and it makes me so paranoid#ive had to brake suddenly a few times and it almost gave me a heart attack#im so afraid to hurt someone even though i drive real slow near crossings like im barely moving#so I wouldnt really hurt anyone but. yk im just anxious about accidentally bumping some pedestrian#and the lack of sleep is not helping me#and god i just wanna be done with all of it#mostly the house#please please please i need to be done i am stressing myself so much#im sorry to barge in after two weeks where the most i could do was like posts i see on my dash and leave them in my likes to be rbd later#when ill feel better#and even then like. even when i have some shred of free time#im so tired i just wanna stare at the ceiling#or obsess over which lamp or credenza to buy or which shade to get a piece of furniture#i hate myself ♥️ also this probably wasnt the best time to start going to the gym but im doin that too ✌️
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Mutual 1: (An extremely extensive post detailing their trauma on their secret blog)
Mutual 1: (A picture of the soup they finished making) Eeatting penis soup grab a bowl
Mutual 2: (Cropped batman yaoi) This scene was so compelling in the comics qnd established so much for Bruce Waynes character as a bottom
Mutual 3: Just updated my comic (it is one of the most compelling pieces of narrative youve ever read. Its based off of a bad game)
Mutual 4: Ngl this omegaverse gacha life youtube video is more compelling than most shows i watch
Mutual 5: Finally cocking out i swear if one more thing happens today i will snap
Mutual 6: PENIS TYPO
Mutual 7: PENIS TYPO
Mutual 8: PENIS TYPO
Mutual 9: This yak tranquilizer weak af
Mutual 10: Come make my sinister potion (posts how to make a pipebomb)
Mutual 11: Do i get plastic surgery and change my name and move to a different country y/n (poll is in favor of yes by a huge margin)
Mutual 12: Mutual 13 is a lying fucking piece of trash and i think they should drop dead. They live at 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104 and im going to record me beating the shit out of them
Mutual 13: Aww my bestie is coming to visit me soon :]
(Mutual 12 and 13 are dating)
Mutual 14: who tf does she think she is (posts a sc of mutual 8 from three url changes ago. It is mutual 8 saying theyre going to the park)
Mutual 15: So in my latest session in dnd we rolled 1d12 for dick size and i rolled a nat 20 and idk what to do with this reponsibility now
Mutual 16: he looks so good im going to scream (a screenshot where said character is so far in the background he doesnt even have a face)
Mutual 17: eho up thinking about the moral dillemma presented in pokemon go
Mutual 18: take a look at my ocs :D (mona lisa if dhe was gay)
Mutual 19: i hadba really good day today i got to spend some time bonding with my entire family and we got to celebrate something we havent had the time for in 37 years
Mutual 20: (reblogging mutual 19) L + Don't care + 632146K~P PRC, dl.2146K~P, 5K > 2146K~P, 5K > JF 2146K~P, 2H, WS ([4]6H->P), 623H
Mutual 21: (Blurry photo of them running from police) they're after me for my stash kf yaoi cocaine
Mutual 22: (Miles long RP chain they started 2 months ago. You have post notification on for them because its awesome)
Mutual 23: Discussing the morality of liking bananas over mangoes
Mutuals 24 ans 25: having a dramatic wedding where theyre acting as a crack ship. They're on the verge of divorce
Mutual 26: She winding onbmy waker (is in the middle of intense controversy)
Mutual 27: (Callout for mutual 26)
Mutual 28: If Mutual 17 asked i would give them a sloppy toppy
Mutual 29: Anon get out of my inbox before j block you his ass is NOT flat. (His ass is fucking concave)
Mutual 30: Shes just like me fr (a picture kf a shopping cart)
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would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)
tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship
bg info
me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.
our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.
we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.
context
i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).
while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.
why i might be the asshole
im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.
why they might be the asshole
i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.
WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?
What are these acronyms?
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Kinkuary 27 Yeonjun — orgasm denial/edging // sex toys
➥ service top!Yeonjun x pillow princess!Reader
summary: Yeonjun loves to buy new toys to use on Y/N almost as much as he loves edging her.
wc: 3.9k
warnings: afab reader, adult dialogue, established relationship, sexual content (minors dni!): mention and use of sex toys (mainly a glass dildo, wrist restraints, and a vibrating anal plug), slight marking, oral (f receiving), service top!Yeonjun, pillow princess!Reader, fingering (m receiving), anal play (m receiving), there isn't as much in this one but I hope I got everything but if I didn’t, please let me know!
a/n: its a tas late so sorry about that and ngl this was really hot and I loved writing every second of it! Thank you so much for reading, I hope you liked it! There will be more parts coming after this. All the late pieces will be posted between this and the final part and then Kinkuary will be over!
It��s been a wild month and I hope the last part will conclude the month for everyone! I'll be moving onto finishing the Tales from Camp Holiday Special and the timestamps from the new years & 6k event before finally starting Under Your Skin. If you havent seen the preview for UYS, you can read it here.
As always, this is a work of fiction and all characters are not reflective of their respective irl counterparts. for entertainment purposes only. banner made by me. I do not allow reposts or translations of my works. All my works are ©️ kwanisms.
Permanent taglist: @yoonguurt @candidupped @dejavernon
Kinkuary full taglist: @baldi-2 @wonderfulshinee @lacie220900 @sup-dallyboy @drunk-on-dk @violagoth @mixling-blog @kosmoreads @yourfavoritefreakyhan
Txt taglist: @niktwazny303 @rapmonie2047 @rdiamond2727 @kangfication @beomgyusbabygirl
Strikethrough means I cannot tag you
MINORS WILL BE BLACKLISTED & BLOCKED.
Last chance to join the taglist! Taglist will close before the last 4 parts go up!
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When he first suggested using toys in the bedroom, Yeonjun never expected this. Now looking over the spread on your shared bed, he was wondering who would be on the receiving end tonight.
"What do you mean toys?" you asked, eyeing your boyfriend suspiciously as you made breakfast. Yeonjun, who was sitting at the kitchen island, shrugged as if he hadn't just brought up wanting to introduce adult toys in your sex life at approximately 830 on a Thursday morning.
"What kind of toys?" You asked after a beat of silence, flipping the eggs in the frying pan so they wouldn't burn. "You know," Yeonjun answered softly. "The usual kind."
You let out a sigh. "No, I don't know," you replied, cheeks burning with embarrassment. While sex was nothing new between the two of you, sex toys were another story entirely.
You had almost no experience when it came to toys of the adult variety. You'd purchased a dildo one time but found it extremely daunting and were too scared to use it and subsequently tossed it out when you did a deep cleanse of your apartment.
That was before Yeonjun entered your life and if you were being honest, he was more than enough. You didn't feel like you needed toys, even when he was on tour. Being patient and waiting until he returned made the sex even better in your opinion.
Now that he was suggesting to use toys, you thought maybe he felt like you weren't enough. Like he needed more.
"Do…" your words failed you as you tried to ask. Yeonjun looked up to see the pained look on your face and thought maybe you'd hurt yourself. He got up but the next words that came out of mouth hit him like a punch to the gut.
"Do I not satisfy you or something?"
He didn't miss the waver in your voice as you tried to hold it together. "Oh baby, that's not that I meant," he said, rushing to your side quickly. He turned the burner off and took your face in his hands, tilting your head to look him in the eyes.
"You're more than enough baby," he explained, pressing a kiss to your forehead first then your lips. "I just want to try something new. I think it could be fun," he added, nuzzling your nose with his.
"Please don't think this means I don't think you satisfy me. You do, I promise," he continued, pulling you into a crushing hug. "I think using toys could be really fun, especially with each other."
You sniffled softly before hugging him back. "O-okay," you answered quietly. "But I don't know anything about them," you added. Yeonjun hummed in response. "I don't know much either but we can learn together," he replied, kissing your forehead.
"It'll be fun, I promise."
You'd both sat down together to look at websites with a wide range of toys, read countless articles and then, for 'added excitement' as your boyfriend called it, you separately bought from the website.
Your face was burning the entire time you added items to your cart, removing them and then adding them back as your indecisiveness took over. Finally, you settled on the agreed upon number of toys.
"We'll each pick four. We may not use them all at once, but I think it'll be nice to have a selection," Yeonjun explained as you sat at the dining table, each on your phones on the website.
You had picked some smaller items after Yeonjun told you to stay away from the vibrators and dildos as he was going to take care of those. You settled for a baby pink ball gag, a pink set of restraints before your eye was caught by the 'for him' section.
You opened it before you could stop yourself.
You scanned through the options, finding a lot more than you expected but you found something promising. You and Yeonjun had mainly discussed toys for you, not him but the moment you saw the cock ring with attached vibrating anal plug, you didn't know what came over you and before you knew it you added it along with a 4 piece anal training set to your cart.
That with the restraints and gag were your four items and you were done, burning with embarrassment from your purchase but hopeful that Yeonjun was right and this would be fun.
It took only a few days for your purchases to arrive and the two of you decided date night would be a perfect chance to test the new items. While you waited for Yeonjun to come home, you got ready, taking a shower and making sure to clean yourself up.
Afterwards, you put on a lingerie set you saved for special occasions and threw on a simple oversized sweater to hide what you wore underneath.
You still had some time to kill so you opened your package and inspected the items before cleaning them and adding batteries to the vibrating plug. Something about it really made you want Yeonjun to pick it later tonight.
Once you finished, you hid your selection back in the box before waiting for your boyfriend to finally arrive home. He brought with him dinner and apologized for running late, he wanted to shower after practice first. You told him you didn't mind as you pulled plates out of the cabinet for the food.
Nestled on the couch with your food and drinks, the two of you settled in and watched a movie while you ate. He'd gone out of his way to pick up some food from your favorite chicken place this time and you reminded yourself to reward him later.
After dinner and the movie ended, the two of you cleaned up, putting away any leftovers and putting the dishes in the washer. While you were wiping down the counter, you felt your boyfriend’s hands on your hips as he pressed against you from behind.
"You smell really nice," he murmured, lips leaving light kisses along your neck. "I took a shower earlier," you answered, shivering slightly as his breath tickled your skin. "Hmm, without me?" he joked, pressing into you, his hardening cock grinding against your ass.
You let out a soft breathy moan, tilting your head to the side to let him mark and kiss your neck as his hands gripped your sweater, pulling the fabric up to reveal your lacy underwear.
Yeonjun cursed under his breath, grinding harder against you. "You planned this, didn't you?" he groaned, his hands dropping your sweater and moving up to grab your breasts over the thick material, making you moan louder.
Without speaking, Yeonjun turned you quickly to face him, lips crashing against yours as his hands reached down to your thighs. Your arms went around his neck, aiding him in lifting you onto the counter as his lips moved down your neck.
"I need this off," he groaned, pulling away to lift your sweater, pulling it off and letting it drop to the ground as he took in the sight of what was on underneath.
The blue and lavender ombre lace was a perfect contrast to your skin. The cup of the bra had thin straps connecting from the middle of the bra and curving up over your breasts to connect to the straps holding the bra up.
The panties were the same blue and lavender ombre with scalloped edges and a small bow with a tiny silver heart charm in the middle of the waistband. A similar silver heart charm dangled from the middle of the bra cups. It was a set Yeonjun had bought you for your birthday and you had worn for him on his.
It was hands down your favorite set but more importantly, it was also your boyfriend's favorite set.
Yeonjun groaned, grabbing your hips and dropping his head onto your shoulder. "You're gonna kill me," he whined before standing upright. You smiled, drawing your bottom lip between your teeth as Yeonjun cupped your face. "You're so fucking beautiful," he whispered, thumb pulling your lip from between your teeth.
Your words were cut off as he kissed you again, your lips parting and letting his tongue explore your mouth. You loved the way Yeonjun kissed you, whether it was just a small peck like he did when he was on his way out the door or like now, messy and full of tongue. He'd shown you time and time again he knew how to use his mouth for more than just singing or rapping.
"We should probably take this to the bedroom," Yeonjun mumbled when he finally pulled away to breathe. You nodded, cheeks flushed and arousal pooling in your panties.
Yeonjun pulled you from the counter, keeping you steady as you landed on your feet before taking your hand and leading you to the bedroom. You giggled as he tripped in his haste and moaned when he pushed you against the wall, kissing you again.
"You're so eager," you noted as his lips left yours, kissing down your neck again. You felt his hand sneak between your bodies, pressing the fabric of your panties against your slick center.
"I'm not the only one," he answered back with a smirk.
"Bedroom," you reminded him as he nipped at your jaw. "Right."
Yeonjun dragged you into the bedroom, over to the bed where he promptly lifted you and dropped you quickly, climbing on top of you as you giggled, a grin on his face as he hovered over you.
"Did you clean your toys?" you asked suddenly, sitting up and pushing Yeonjun back. His eyes squinted before widening. "Shit, no," he said rolling off the bed and onto the floor with a curse, mak8jg you laugh as he got to his feet clumsily and hurried to grab the box with his name on it and rush into the bathroom.
You waited patiently on the bed while he ran the toys under the faucet, adding ample amounts of cleaner before rinsing them and shutting off the water.
You climbed off the bed ro grab your box and hurried back as he reappeared.
"You got off the bed," he accused as he entered the room. You nodded with a cheeky grin. "I had to grab my box!" You said, holding your box up to show him.
Yeonjun rolled his eyes but said nothing as he climbed onto the bed, setting a plain pink towel on top of the sheets. "One at a time?" he asked, looking at you. With a smile and a nod, you played rock paper scissors for who would have to go first.
Yeonjun lost with a groan but opened the box and pulled out the first of his four purchases.
It was a beautiful clear and pink glass dildo with a heart on one end. He set it aside and nodded towards your box. "Your turn," he said, practically bouncing with excitement.
You chose to pull out the restraints first. Yeonjun eyed them, reaching forward to grab them from you. "These are… unexpected," he said as he inspected them. "Well," you started softly, playing with your fingers before continuing.
"I like it when you pin my arms above my head, so I thought these could mimic that. Then you'd have two free hands," you explained. Yeonjun smirked, setting the restraints aside and leaned forward to kiss you. "You're so cute," he cooed, taking your face in his hands.
"Junnie!" you whined as he squished your cheeks. "It's your turn," you tried to change the subject. Yeonjun sighed and reluctantly withdrew to pull the neck item out of his box. Your eyes widened upon seeing it.
The fluffy pink fur nearly obscured the small silver plug attached to the base of a luxurious cat tail. "I don't know," Yeonjun said, trying to explain his thought process. "I just really liked the color and thought it would look really cute on you. Well, I guess 'in' you is more accurate," he added.
Your cheeks burned as he set the tail aside and motioned for you to continue. You decided to grab the training set and show it off next. Yeonjun whistled as you set it down and blushed furiously, an action that made him chuckle and lean forward to kiss your cheek.
The next item out of his box was a headband with match ears for the tail. "It's a set," he explained, putting the ears on himself first. You giggled as he looked at you with a wide grin. "They're really pretty," you commented as he took the headband off and set the ears aside.
You chose to show off the gag you'd purchased. Yeonjun nearly choked on his own spit when you pulled it out. "Obviously I don't think we'd use this right away, but I like the color and you know how loud I can get sometimes." Yeonjun said nothing as you set the gag on the towel with the other items. He pulled his final item out and you nearly did a double take.
He had produced a dildo unlike anything you'd ever seen.
It was long and had a somewhat average girth. It was white and light blue marbled with a baby pink base. The shaft was textured with what looked like suction cups, the tip pointed and the entire length curved backwards slightly.
Aesthetically, it was probably the prettiest dildo you'd ever seen but the texture was as horrifying as it was confounding. You'd never seen anything like it.
"Trust me," Yeonjun started. "I know it looks intimidating, but I checked the measurements and it's not much different than me. The differences are the color and the texture," he continued.
"If you don't want to use it right away, we don't have to. I just really liked how it looked. All the others look the same. They all look like dicks and this… this is so unique." You leaned forward, kissing him on the lips and interrupting his rambling. "I'll keep an open mind."
Yeonjun smiled, relief washing over him as he set the toy aside and waited for your last one.
You suddenly felt nervous and wished you'd already shown it to him.
Sensing your unease, Yeonjun set the now empty box aside and took your hand in his. "It's okay," he reassured you. "Nothing can be weirder than the actual tentacle dildo I bought."
You laughed and took a deep breath before pulling the final item out.
Yeonjun had been shocked by your purchases before, but now he was confused as he looked at the item in your hands, taking it slowly. "What is it?" he asked, making you laugh at the sheer confusion on his face.
"It's a cock ring," you said softly. The confusion melted immediately, replaced with the shock you expected. "And this??" he asked, wiggling the anal plug. "A vibrating anal plug," you answered, laughing again as his jaw dropped. "A plug... for me?"
You nodded, giggling as his cheeks turned pink. "I uh… wasn't e-expecting that," he coughed as he set the item aside. "We don't have to use it," you said, mimicking his words. "I just couldn't stop thinking about it." Yeonjun glanced down at the items, eyes landing on the anal training set. "Is that why you bought this?"
You shook your head. "Not really," you answered. "I've always wanted to try anal, you know that." Your voice was soft as you spoke, making Yeonjun smirk as he watched your face flush. "We can definitely do that," he commented, making you look up.
"Really?" you asked, your eyes shining with excitement.
"Of course," Yeonjun answered. "I need you to do something for me first," he continued, looking stern for a second, making your eyes widened in shock and confusion at his sudden change in demeanor.
"W-what's that?" you asked, gulping as he leaned forward.
"Gimme your hands," Yeonjun said, holding one of his hands out for you to place both your hands in. "First things first," he continued, grabbing the pink restraints.
"I'm gonna bind your wrists and pin them down," he said as he started doing just that, placing your wrists in the restraints and tightening them just enough so you couldn't escape but not so tight they were u comfortable.
He then guided you to lie back, pinning your hands above your head as his lips kissed down your neck. "Keep your hands up there, baby girl," he whispered before continuing to kiss down your body, hands ghosting over your skin as he kissed down your stomach.
"You won't be needing these," he said softly, pulling your panties which were glistening with your arousal down your legs and setting them aside. As he settled between your thighs, taking your hips in his hands and locking his lips, Yeonjun glanced up to meet your gaze. "I want you to count," he said simply.
"C-count what?" you stammered, cheeks burning under his gaze.
"I want you to count how many times I make you cum with my tongue."
You lost track some time after the fourth or fifth orgasm.
Yeonjun had gotten two out of you before he finally started using the toys you'd both gotten. He was so entranced by the way your cunt took the glass dildo and even more so at being able to see through the clear glass and getting a small glimpse inside at your walls.
It was odd but also extremely erotic for him. The way your back arched off the mattress as he drove the toy into you repeatedly. He had the perfect view and he wouldn't regret the decision to bring this up and bring something new to your sex lives.
Although he wanted to use the plug tail and ears he chose to keep it simple tonight, just using the restraints and this one dildo on you. He would have been content to use just these but then you just had to bring it up. The last item you'd shown him.
As he got rid of his clothes, you brought it up.
"Do you want to try it?" you asked softly as he looked down at you, lying bare before him and almost totally at his mercy. He glanced sideways at the toy and then back at you.
He just knew he was going to regret this.
"Okay."
He'd taken his time to undo your hands, trying to stall as long as possible. It wasn't that he didn't want to do it. He was just… nervous. He'd never ever had anything put inside him other than at doctors appointments or physicals so doing this now was throwing him off. He waited as you opened the bedside table and grabbed a bottle of lube you kept on hand just in case.
Yeonjun waited as you moved behind him and urged him to bend over. He sighed and did as you asked, bracing himself. "You have to relax, Junnie," you reminded him. He nodded and waited but instead of the toy, he felt your finger instead.
It was cold and wet but it surprisingly didn't hurt. It was just weird. It was the first time he'd experienced this but it was the first time he'd had a sexual partner's finger inside him.
He let out a deep breath as you slowly worked your finger inside your boyfriend, concentrating on not hurting him. "I'm gonna add-" you started but Yeonjun shook his head. "Just do it, baby," he said quickly. "If I think too much, I'll change my mind."
The second finger was much more uncomfortable. It still wasn't painful, just really weird. At least until your fingers moved, the pads of your fingers pushing against the inside of his walls, making his head drop and a low moan to escape his lips.
You froze, fingers stilling before you repeated the action, causing your boyfriend to moan again. "Stop teasing me," he whined. "Just put the plug in and get it over with." You shook your head. "Not yet," you answered, ignoring his whines as you continued to scissor your fingers the same way he did when he was preparing you to take his cock for the first time.
"Fuck," Yeonjun hissed as your fingers continued to wiggle and squirm. "Does it hurt?" you asked, pausing momentarily but when he shook his head, you continued fingering and scissoring his hole for a few more minutes. "I think that should be enough," you said more to yourself than to Yeonjun as you pulled your fingers out and wiped them on the towel before grabbing the cock ring.
"I think it needs to go over this first," you said softly as you slowly slipped the ring over the tip of his cock. "Here," Yeonjun said, taking over and sliding the ring down his shaft. "And then these," you added, blushing as he followed your instruction, slipping the second ring over his balls before handing the plug to you.
"Just… be careful," Yeonjun said as you coated the plug with lube. "I'll go slow," you confirmed as you pressed the tip against his hole and slowly pushed it in. "Just breathe," you reminded as his breath hitched. You heard him exhale slowly and pushed the plug in.
It wasn't huge and it slid in easily. Once it was fully in, Yeonjun let out a moan as you sighed in relief. "You okay?" you asked softly. "Just get back over here," he replied. You obliged, settling back down on your back but not before grabbing your phone.
"What are you doing?" Yeonjun asked, eyes wide. "Turning the vibrator on," you answered as you opened the app. Yeonjun was about to answer but the sudden vibration against his prostate made him lose all conscious thought, a moan escaping as he dropped to his hands. You shut the vibrator off and looked up at him.
"Y-you can't just sneak it up on me like that," he mumbled. "Too much?" you asked, pouting when he nodded. You looked at the app on your screen and turned the number down to 1 before turning it on. "What about that?" you asked.
The light buzz of the vibrator was much less noticeable but still enjoyable as Yeonjun regained his focus. "That's a lot better," he said as he shook his head, sitting upright and hooking his hands under the backs of your knees, pulling you closer.
"Don't look so smug," he said as he took his length in his hand and lined the tip with your slit. "You may not even be able to focus when I start fucking you," he added, pushing into you slowly, both your eyes sliding shut as your warm walls enveloped his cock.
You pressed the plus sign on your phone screen, increasing the vibration by one. Yeonjun let out a low moan, head dipping as he lost his focus for a moment.
"Remind me to buy you a vibrator next time."
"If you keep increasing the speed on that, I'm not gonna last," he said, grabbing your hips and thrusting into you, making you cry out as he set a steady rhythm, thrusting into you, trying to focus on the feeling of your cunt gripping his cock and not the vibrating plug in his ass.
Your walls clenched around him again. "Then I guess it's a race to see who cums first," you moaned as your boyfriend snapped his hips forward, meeting his gaze as a smirk formed on his face.
"Let the game begin."
#txt scenarios#txt imagines#txt smut#txt x reader#yeonjun scenarios#yeonjun imagines#yeonjun smut#yeonjun x reader#kwanisms kinkuary#kinkuary 2023
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anyway in like 4 months when we havent heard from mcr like 60% of you will find something new to blog about and move on but ill still be here....holding down the fort like i did for the entire 7 years they were broken up
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i've been lurking the forced misgen/forced feminisation/humiliation/forced breast expansion side of tumblr for a while- you're actually the first blog i've interacted with- i've been on t for about 4/5 months now and i dont know what's happening its just that my nipples have been so sensitive and i cant bind due to medical stuff so i just have this double d tits jumping around all day- i mean i can feel them moving constantly, rubbing against tables and things- and cuz of the t weight gain all my shirts have gotten smaller so they're just pressing up against the cotton.. it makes me so wet, i dont know what to do i spent a good hour just rubbing my nipples i mean what the fuck i've never been that wet before EVER and it didnt stop it just kept spiraling and now trying to work out how to get womens underwear without outing myself (im in a small town) and how i can reach my g-spot with my own fingers- god i want to submit to this ftmgirl thing but im still selfaware enough to be utterly humiliated by it, can i get some thoughts from a ftmgirlie?
i am so flattered that im one of the first blogs you've interacted with!! also im so proud of you for reaching out girl💗💖, it can be scary and intimidating to do at first but its definitely the right thing.
its very common that when us girls go on t, instead of it making us into men, it makes us into sluts💖. if you give a female a "man" sex drive what do you expect will happen? its kind of silly how surprised we all get when a couple months in our cunts start begging us for cock and to become bitches in heat💕, but only real men are really capable of handling that sex drive as nature intended💗.
so it makes perfect sense that your female nipples are responding too, theyre asking you to listen to your biology, thats why you get wet too! your pussy and your body loves your gorgeous, plush tits. im so glad you havent gotten rid of them either, neither have i and im so relieved. its also so relatable that once you give in to one thing (sensitive nipples💖) you quickly fall down the rabbit hole and give in to the next thing (girls underwear💗) and the next thing (finding your g spot🌸 ). us girls are kind of weak willed like that hehe🥰
i think being utterly humiliated by making such a silly mistake and confusing yourself for a man is a good thing, i completely relate, everyday im humiliated by myself and how pathetic i am and you know what? it makes my pussy even more soaked!🌸 females are designed this way, and no matter whether we take t or call ourselves men we just cannot escape our biology💗 and theres something really beautiful about that.
just give in, it will feel insanely good and way better than pretending to be a man ever could, fuck your cunt, jiggle your tits, buy that pretty pink dress and those lacy bra and panties you keep staring at, be the girl you know you are alongside me - im still on my journey too! and asks like these help convince me as well 💗
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hiii ik requests are closed hopefully this doesn’t count, but i was just scrolling through your blog and wondering if you ever ended up posting a supernatural board? i saw the poll about it but i couldn’t find the board :( i’d love to see it!
okay i haveee a midam (michael x adam) board scheduled for the 29th since its adams bday !
other than that i havent posted any because im trying to decide whether to post them here or on my supernatural specific side blog, ill probably do the side blog that way i can include things like blood n weapons (if i do agere spn boards then they will be here tho) . i have a LOT planned :3
once i get the side blog up and running i will make a post with its user!! it will probably be towards the middle or end of this month since im currently moving and dont have wifi most of the time .
am very happy 2 hear from another supernatural fan TY 4 THE ASK !!
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after 5 long months ive logged onto this account. ive cleaned it up of any cluttering posts. i feel a lot of regret for how ive handled certain things and for how harshly ive always treated myself. i had tried to be optimistic on this blog, you can see it, but deep down i was miserable. this isnt a sob story post, it is more of an update and analyzing myself too. because to analyze me back then and me now is to see growth as a person.
tbh i was struggling with a lot of things months ago and even relapsed in things i wouldn’t have imagined i would have. this isnt for validation at all, i like writing things publicly like this, like a note for myself? idk.
i know i would make comments about my mental state back then “how it got better” but that was never the case. it was temporary.
to be quite honest, i will get into the real real gist of it. i had moved out of my parents place like in october of 2022. living with my family has always been stressful, i wont go into that though. my roommate was an incredibly selfish and two-faced person. there were red flags but i either hadnt noticed or ignored them. she was a complete pos, imo, and even reveled in being one. she was even gross and her sister who also lived with us was also gross. i feel bad for her cat bc she wouldnt clean the litter box that much until she wasnt so “depressed”. i am honestly not sure, i put quotation marks bc honestly i feel that she was just lazy as fuck. she was one of those girls who followed trends and went out clubbing a lot and had lots of hook ups. i dont know man, maybe i seem like an asshole but ive struggled with depression since i was a kid and still find energy to clean my cats litter box. granted, i have better coping mechanisms and thought processes and am just in general in a better place mentally but idk i love my cats to death and feel like a dickwad when i even go a couple of hours over with cleaning their litter box. she also didnt try to help with her cat becoming obese basically and stuff, so yea. sorry for the long tangent, my roommate was a dickwad.
after moving out of that hell hole (i wasnt apart of the lease so it was p easy), i think i moved out beginning of february? well, situations happen and i move out of parents place with my bf at the end of february. place ends up being fucking infested with bed bugs and the landlord lady was a bitch and so yea. i moved in and out like 4 times in the span of november 2022-march 2023 i think? tbh, that was all pretty stressful. but i think the good thing out of it was my cats are indoor cats now and i love taking care of them.
while cleaning my posts of clutter, i had a wave of nostalgia both good and bad. it wasnt that long ago but it feels like it. i loved rping hu tao and i think a lot of the reason as to why i could never rp with a lot of ppl was because i was harsh to myself and held myself back. i felt like i didnt properly convey hu tao’s portrayal and compared myself to other hu taos. it is easy to compare because it isnt your writing or portrayal. i could look at myself, be a harsh critique about my looks, but at the end of the day there could always be someone out there that sees things differently. in a more positive and less judgemental light, ig. i also had and still struggle with social anxiety. it has gotten better and perhaps it has helped that ive learned to be more understanding of myself like i am with others.
i love hu tao as a character and always will. and id love to come back to her! but tbh i have fallen out of the game and havent been playing it. i havent played the event including hu tao. i am not sure yet if i am going to make such a commitment to rping again but looking back at the posts made me feel a bit happy. i kinda like how i wrote her, i liked interacting and being goofy.
so, there is that, i guess.
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stillllll job searching. nothing yet. no calls, no emails, nothing. its been like 6 months. ive applied to the government financial assistance thing and its rejected me at least 4 times.
i have 3 months before the friend im staying with leaves. my uncle is moving his new fucking girlfriend into my old room and if worst comes to worst, i can sleep on his couch again. i hate begging for money and plastering my art all over but rn these commissions are my only source of income if i get them.
i will draw furries, ocs, dnd characters, some non-complex mech, nsfw, anything. im just really desperate and in a really bad place.
don't feel bad if you can't give anything or commission me, but a reblog goes a long way! please 🙏 🙏 🙏
i will also do tarot readings for cheap.
as of right now i am completely out of the sensors for my libre glucose monitor. any money goes into buying those, buying food, or saving up. i'm blessed enough that my friend's parents aren't making me pay any bills rn due to being unemployed, but that won't last forever either, especially after he leaves.
any little bit helps, here are more art examples
(the varying watermarks/ signatures are because these pieces are all from differentish times in my life. I went by Ethan for a while, i'm over at @chaotic-possum-art tho i havent been active for a while. M.L was "mavros-lykos" an old blog i used to have)
https://ko-fi.com/chaoticopossum42
monthly obligatory advert
got terminated without cause at my last job after watching them break all their departments into like 3 then watching my managers leave and them just Not replacing them or promoting anyone and refusing to promote my coworkers
been applying to jobs all around me but nada so far. will sell pics if wanted and i do art commissions also 🙏🙏 money goes towards food and keeping me alive in general anything helps. will post some of my art at the end here ✨️
like to charge reblog to support local autistic transgender
art comms website: https://chaoticpossumart.carrd.co/
paypal: https://www.paypal.me/chaoticpossumart
#furry commissions#nsft commissions#furry#furry art#commissions open#digital artist#furry oc#furry fandom#oc commission#dnd#dnd commission
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day 77/77.
the wait is over.
and you might think “omg he finally came back, you saw him??” and the answer is no. its almost the complete opposite. its like if he went further away, like of i lost him more than i already have. maybe even forever this time.
on july 31st. i saw a photo of him holding someone elses hand. on a date with someone.
i cant even explain the feeling i got the second i saw that photo. its like my heart dropped. it started beating so fast, i started crying almost immediately.
but the thing is, i cant even be mad. i defenitly feel disappointed, upset (?). but i cant. we were both single. we are single. i kissed two different people, because i just wanted to forget about him. but the craziest thing? its that the girl that he was with, was a name that came up on his phone a lot. one time this person was spam calling him, and he said it was his brother.
and the weeks before he left, he was calling her to ask about his visa. and i feel stupid for not knowing, because i was so blinded, because i trusted him that i actually didnt even care that he talked to other girls, because his love felt real. i dont even know if i should call it love, but whatever feelings he showed me during those 40ish days, felt real.
i wasnt even planning on watching the instagram stories. i even told myself “no phones one hour before bedtime” because i havent been getting the best sleep. but a part of me told me to look, because it wouldnt hurt, right?,,, well here we are.
now, i felt sad. i cried, i shook, i had my little anxiety moment, and i vented to my best friend. but in the end, nothing even matters, because we arent together anymore. and what we had wont ever work out.
i actually even felt happy this morning. i was smiling and singing along to music. because i actually felt free in a way. i feel like if i finally was able to let go of that hope that he gave me for almost two months.
no more waiting. no more hoping. now we actually know we can move on without feeling bad or missing him. and as much as i hide it or feel happy, a part of me admits to hurting. because he was able to move on so fast. i dont know if this is a distraction, or a reconciliation, it seems like that though since they were in contact when we were together.
the second i saw that photo, i also started to regret everything, questioning everything i put myself through. the countless blogs i wrote about him, the days i talked about him on my snapchat memories, the clothes i saved in bags so that i could conserve his scent. the flowers he gave me, dried but still in the vase... it like i spent months just counting the days till he came back, for nothing... so in a way, i would like to think that i was meant to see that photo.
i also had the urge to block him, everywhere, delete everything. and i did, i deleted every photo, i privated the playlist i made him and i blocked him from seeing my stories. i didnt completey block him, because he also doesnt know that i know.
but anyway. the end. the wait is over. im free to continue my healing process. it does feel like if im starting from zero. also today marks 4 weeks no contact. but i am so upset and disappointed. what do i even tell him when he tells me hes back? i cant tell him i saw that photo, because i wasnt even supposed to know his friends accounts anyway.
but as much as i know now, i dont think i will be going back with him.
goodbye, p.
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heres a few links from my bookmarks folder full of HTML and CSS resources that i used when first making my neocities website because i want other people to make their own sites as well because its fun :)
how to actually do html and css
web design in 4 minutes - this is the site that really made HTML and CSS click for me, following along as the author describes what’s he’s doing to the webpage and showing how it changes the presentation (you don’t need the book he shills at the end. i did without)
w3schools introduction to html - takes you through the very basics of creating a website, lesson-by-lesson. big goldmine for code to grab and scaffold off of once you have some basic skills
mozilla’s html guide - also a great beginner’s guide by the people who made mozilla, although i didnt use it as much as w3 schools
brackets.io - this is the program i use to write the files i use for my website. lets you do splitscreen to work with two files at once, gives you a breakdown of all the files in your website’s folder, and will let you autofill commonly-used tags and files in the code. supposedly has a live preview function but it doesnt work that well for me when i’m using a second monitor, which i normally do when coding. just save the file and refresh the page instead.
(side note: i work in a software external to neocities instead of directly in the neocities editor because 1. local files update with a refresh and neocities has to update the cookies AND download all the website info again once you update, and 2. it effectively gives you a mass undo button if you fuck up because you have your files hosted in multiple places (local and online). yes its kinda annoying to have to manually upload all my files especially bc you cant upload whole folders AND you cant move their locations once uploaded but i prefer it to working directly on the site. if you have a neocities pro subscription ($5/month) you can mount your website directly on your machine as opposed to the neocities dashboard, which basically means you dont have to manually upload the code every time you change something -- it’ll update automatically)
codepen - if you prefer something browser-based to work in then try codepen, i used it a little bit at the beginning when trying to troubleshoot some code i didn’t quite understand. you need an account to actually save your work and im not sure if it actually lets you upload folders bc i never signed up lol
premade engines/sites/themes/etc etc
neothemes or eggramen or templaterr - if you wanna get a quick start on a neocities site, you CAN use a theme generator/premade theme. if you go this route i would still heavily recommend trying to learn HTML and CSS, and then go into the guts of your own website to try and pick it apart and change it to your liking
zonelets - a static blogging engine that uses HTML, CSS, and javascript. made for use on neocities but theoretically useable elsewhere. takes about 15 minutes to set up (if you use a default theme, but its pretty customizable if you know what you’re doing) and requires you to 1. write blog posts in html and 2. modify some code in a script file every time you want to upload a post, but it will automatically let you browse posts in order once you get everything uploaded
rarebit - a neocities webcomic template — havent used it yet but looks cool, and seems to operate off of the same principles as zonelets.
glightbox - this is the lightbox javascript code i use when i want to display a lot of images on one page. i found this code via clicking “inspect element” on a neocities fanpage that the webmaster drew a lot of fanart for. you should click inspect element on neocities pages that you like so you can understand how they do what you like (you can even look at their css by clicking the style.css link you have to include at the top of your page)
plus a couple masterlists/directories:
yesterlinks
sadgrl.online’s webmastery directory
#unidentified gay noise#html#neocities#i took a 2.5 hour nap today and drank coffee at 4 pm and im still sleept#edit oct 22: removed the anti-t*rf disclaimer bc i havent seen any sus reblogs in a while and i didnt wanna keep seeing it in my notifs#but it still stands :)
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Art Update and Reflections
Hey everyone, I’d like to do some personal talk and reflections on this blog.
I came to tumblr a few years ago from deviantart, since deviantart was being overtaken by things I was not comfortable with, as well as the way that if you took a break so people didnt directly visit your page for a while, you were essentially filtered out of their watch lists. The original intent was to post my art here.
Somewhere along the way it became a general blog of reblogs, memes, games, and occasionally I might post some art. You may have seen me post about my health issues on here before, but I am a schizophrenic with a dissociative personality disorder and PTSD. I’ve also had some physical issues that come from untreated injuries in my youth that affect my day to day life, including artwork. Sometimes, I’m in too much physical pain to draw, and I have to take days or weeks off. I am actually doing much better these days thanks to a combination of therapy (physical and mental), medication and lifestyle changes. Yay!
So what’s the point of this post? I had said I would reopen commissions once I had finished my last personal piece. Well, I’m putting them on hold indefinitely for the time being. In the past, I’ve accepted more commissions than I could really handle, giving me no time for personal stuff. If you look through my art tag, you might notice my styles have changed a lot, and I feel like sometimes I get better or worse. Even after all these years, I’m still learning, Im still finding ‘my’ style. There’s a lot of things I’d like to practice and try, and in the past I’ve used commissions to try out new things and they havent always turned out so great. In these cases I’ve often given discounts or free art in compensation, but really, I shouldnt be doing that. So I’d like to just focus on my art for a while, practice and experiment, get to a place I’m happy with before I start accepting payment from people again.
I’m still working the same hours for my day job, but the days I worked have changed so I work them all at once now and then have 4 days off before going back. Honestly, this will improve my motivation to work on art I feel like, since every day I have off I wont be thinking about having to go back to work the next day.
Also, I’d like to re-share an old image.
You may have seen me posting the full body images of these girls with not much information other than a ‘magical girl’ tag. Well, these girls are from a story I’ve had churning in my head for years. I have been thinking about trying to start an online comic, so even though they are original characters, and my non fandom stuff gets next to no attention, I may start finally moving this story from my head to my tablet! Expect more art of these girls over the coming months...unless I lose my nerve again since I have some serious self confidence issues lol
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Hakuoki Yuugiroku Drama - Thumb-Sized Samurai Tracks 1-4 (of 7)
This is my last post of the month, so I’ll end by asking you to please support me if you can through my ko-fi, and paypal or patreon which provides access to my hakuoki blog translations and early access to my postings. Also, please let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my Lookout List since i either do not have audio for those cds or do not have audio that I can share.... and if you are able to remove watermarks from a video, please contact me.
Well... I’m finally done with all that i can translate for this drama. posting these tracks all together since im unable to continue translating the rest of this by myself... which is something i wouldn’t normally do because i prefer splitting tracks up for more items on my queue, tho that’s also a side-effect of me usually not being able to stay focused on one drama... not sure when i’ll get to the subtitle videos for these since im still pretty busy (while i have the first 3 tracks of this drama subtitled [unedited], at this rate, i might just wait for when finals are done and just focus on all my videos in bulk then... plus ive yet to receive the tl for track 6 and 7 [and need someone else to go over where the voices overlap in track 5], so that will likely cause further delays to the videos for this drama).
also i totally caved in and exchanged points for the yuukoku no moriarty stage play file with chinese subs that someone finished translating recently and bought the blu-ray for the 2nd musical. havent craved more content from a fandom this badly since about a few months before i decided that i would start translating hakuoki stuff lol.
Hakuoki Yuugiroku 2 Limited Edition Bonus Drama CD “Thumb-sized Samurai”
Translation by KumoriYami
Track 1
Kazama: hehehe~ Sure enough/As expected, this medicine's blend of Forsythia grass and boiled eel, along with my yearning and passion....
Heh.....hehehahaha~!!! Success at last! This forbidden drug, it shall be named ——the New Ishida Sanyaku · Changed/Improved!!
Hm~. as long as this strange drug "the New Ishida Sanyaku" is improved, it will become a panacea that will make people fall deeply in love.......
She obviously loves me, [however] my wife is is unable to honestly admit to her feelings [and] is tormented by the pain of love-sickness/My wife, tortured by love sickness, has refused to admit her feelings, isn't this medicine suitable for her?
Alright/Well, now that this medicine has been completed, this must be quickly brought to my wife to drink.
No, wait, just in case, the effects of this must be tested first. (Kazama begins walking off somewhere—)
Track 2
Harada: So that's it/all, Hijikata-san, that's all I can report on. Sure enough/As expected, the team members' most pressing concern is the security of headquarters.
Saito: My opinions/suggestions are almost the same/similar/the same as Sano's. I believe that we need to improve our defences against intruders.
Hijikata: Is that so. I understand what you guys are saying. Harada and Saito, you've worked hard....... That being said, it's difficult to completely prevent intruders from coming in. This place is a temple, not a fortress. Even if we installed a fence now, that isn't really a good plan.
Saito:.....So what you're saying is......
Harada: But, shouldn't the area around Chizuru's room at least be fortified? It is true that someone is after her.
Saito: Kazama Chikage, Amagri and Shiranui [check audio], the self-proclaimed group of oni......
Hijikata:......Indeed. In short I need to consult with Kondou-san about this....... Then, that'll be it for today's report.
Saito: Then I'll go make some tea. You should rest first. Sano, you should also drink some.
Harada: Oh, thanks a lot. Then I won't be impolite [rephrase later].
(Saito leaves then returns shortly after)
Saito: I've brought the tea. This is fresh[ly brewed] and hot, so please be careful.
Harada: Thank you. I didn't expect this so quickly.
Hijikata: (sips tea)......Oh, what's this, Saito? Did you use some other tea leaves today?
Saito: Nn?......No, I haven't done that.
Hijikata: Really? Then why do I feel that this tastes different from usual?
Harada: You didn't put poison in did you?
Saito:......!! Don't say such frightening words, Sano. The idea of me poisoning the Vice-Commander is complete nonsense. [i prefer the word 'utter']
Harada: Don't get angry, I was just kidding. (sips tea).......but, like Hijikata-san said, the taste of this tea really is odd/strange [tl says 'subtle']......
Saito: Strange? How could that be...... (sips tea)....!!
Harada: What's wrong? You've suddenly become quiet.
Saito: This taste is of...... Ishida Sanyaku !?
Hijikata: Ahaha, I was thinking that this tasted a bit familiar, so that's what it was........ wa, wait! Why was that put into the tea!?
Harada: Saito..... you bastard, did you actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea/you didn't actually put Ishida Sanyaku into tea did you? Even if you love that stuff, you should know when to stop before going too far [idiom. rephrase later]!
Saito: No......I would remember doing something like that. I only saw that the teapot lid was open, that there were tea leaves already inside, and that I was thinking how it could easily be brought over to be used......
Hijikata:......There was already tea inside? Did you notice if there was something strange/weird in the surroundings?
Saito: Speaking of which........ I saw something, I thought it was garbage so I ignored it, I think I remember how a note there was a written note saying "dedicated/specially for my wife. Dogs are strictly prohibited to touch this" or something like that.......
Hijikata: What, those words. From where do they....seem... familiar.......
(Hijikata collapses)
Saito: Vice-Commander!!
Harada: oi~ oi!! What's wrong, Hijikata-san! Why are you/why did you suddenly....... falling/collapsing/fall/collapse......!!
(Harada collapses)
Saito: Sano!! Why are you also......!!.......Why am I/How can I.......also....... be fainting........!
(Saito collapses)
Track 3
(footsteps)
Souji: Ha...... good grief, this is a real problem. I've long wanted to say this, but why is it necessary for us to submit a report about our patrols when nothing unusual happened?
Heisuke: I actually think that way too. But nothing can be done about this because of the rules~
Souji: Anyway, if nothing unusual happens, isn't it enough for Heisuke to make the report/that you make the report, Heisuke? I don't think I should be involved in giving it~
Heisuke: You just don't want to go to Hijikata-san's room. If you were giving a report to Kondou-san, you'd obviously be very happy.
Souji: That's because Hijikata-san sees me he won't stop talking as soon as he sees me. Before this, all I did was secretly prepared some ink and smeared a stone into it so that it turned black. He surprisingly became furious at me.
Heisuke:......Anyone who experienced this kind of thing would get really angry....... Hijikata-san, we're coming in. (they stop walking and open a door) Hey~ Hijikata-san~! Eh? Ah? It seems that he isn't here?
Souji:......But, doesn't it look like he was was recently in the room? Look, something spilled on to the floor.
Heisuke: What~? Is it possible that he wasn't careful and spilled his teacup, then panicked as he left to go and get a towel to dry this?
Souji: Maybe. Anyhow/Speaking of which...... besides the tea, there seems to be some other strange thing on the floor...... What is this?
Heisuke:......Hijikata-san, Sano-san, and Hajime-kun? What are these, these puppets/figurines [or dolls] look very well made. These might be Hijikata-san's things, so it'd be better not to touch them.
Souji: Anyway it seems like he's not in his room right now. Nothing to be done about it then~ [we'll] hand in our report later.
Heisuke: Yeah. Really, just where did he go......
(they open the door and leave the room)
Track 4
Harada: Saito...... Oi, Saito...! Wake up, I'm telling you to wake up!
Saito:.......Mm...mrgh... S-Sano?
Harada: Yeah.... oh, wait a sec! It's good that you're awake, but you can't open your eyes yet!...... Well, how should I put this...... you need to be mentally prepared......
Saito:.....? What are you saying? What mental preparations......?
~music tune~
Saito:.......!! Sano!?………………Sano?
Harada: Why is that a question? Without a doubt, it's me, Harada Sanosuke.
Saito: No....... But, the Sano I know, doesn't have that height......
Harada: Don't worry, you've become just like me. Just look down at your own body.
Saito:.....!! Even my sword is unsteady in these smaller hands, and if I step forward, there's the risk of falling over because this extremely big head..... What the hell happened to my body...!
Harada: I'll say it first, but this isn't a dream. Because I've already my face quite a few times.
Saito:......This lowly/humble body...... let alone moving, won't I be useless to the vice-commander and be unable to contribute to the Shinsengumi!?
Harada: In a sense, I don't think you'll need to worry about that? Take a look/Look, Hijikata-san has also become like/also looks like this.
~music tune~
Hijikata: Ah...... damn it......! My hands and feet [arms and legs] have gotten shorter, and everything else [tl is surroundings/everything in the surrounding] has become incredibly large......!
Saito: E-Even the Vice-Commander.....!? Why do you [also] have this awkward appearance......!!
Hijikata: Saito, you're awake. I just woke up...... Oi, Harada, why on earth have we become/do we look like this!
Harada: Even if you ask me that, I have no idea/I don't know. I was like this when I woke up.
Hijikata: Yeah....... well, since the three of us have all become like this, it's obvious/goes without saying that the pot of tea was strange.
Harada: Yeah. To begin with, it's strange to have tasted Ishida Sanyaku in tea.
Saito:......I see. That is to say that this is all due to Ishida Sanyaku......
Hijikata: No, that's impossible......
Saito: Ishida Sanyaku is a medicine that is meant to be taken with sake, because it was deviously put into tea, this sort of of trouble happened.......
???: Che~ how stupid [tl is more "stupid beyond the point of help/redemption but i can't figure out how to word that]! Devious? It's shameless to even guess/speculate about this [reword later].
Harada:......! That arrogant voice......! Kazama!!?!?
Hiijikata: You bastard! Are you actually here to harass Chizuru again[??? there's an idiom used in this sentence that I don't really get so i omitted it]!? Where the hell are you hiding!?
Kazama: HAH~! Are your eyes just decorations? I don't run or hide, so are you not able to see who is before your eyes?
~music tune~
Saito: Ha....... so you've also become like this...
Harada: I couldn't help but look up just now ['doubt my eyes'ish or 'look away'.... or something?] . (whispers) Ha.... It turned out be some random passerby.
Kazama: You bastard, sighing after looking at someone else's face, you really know nothing about etiquette!
Hijikata:: After breaking into someone's home, it goes without saying that etiquette will go to the dogs [reword later]! Alright, Saito, Harada! Let's drive this guy out of headquarters!
Saito: Understood (draws sword)
Kazama: Ah~ do you plan on fighting me with that poor body of yours?
Hijikata: Look at yourself, aren't you also the same!?
Harada: Speaking of that guy, why are you even here?.... Don't tell me that it was your plan to make our bodies smaller!?
Kazama: Ha, have you finally noticed it. You idiots/fools with no brains.
Saito: In other words, this is all that guy's fault?! Making all of our bodies smaller, what do you intend on doing?!
Kazama: It has nothing to do with you. I was only looking for my wife.... Yes, only just my wife.... That damn vile medicine!! To actually make turn me into this inferior article!!
Hijikata: Although I don't get why you're so upset, quit rambling, and hurry up and tell us the way to get us back to normal!
Kazama:.......Che.
Saito: You still won't talk. Then violence can be the only answer [reword later. don't like how it reads]...!
Harada: Hold it, Saito!
Saito: Why are you stopping me, Sano! If we don't get the answer out of that guy's mouth, we won't be able to get our bodies back to normal!
Harada: Don't you think it's a bit strange? Kazama was originally the culprit with that medicine, but why is that guy so small now? If he was able to get back to normal, he already would have done that!
Hijikata: Co-Could it be.... you're not going to say that you don't know how to get us back to normal, right!
Kazama: Did you finally realize it? You idiots with no intelligence!
Harada: Uwah....... I really want to beat him up......
Saito: Vice-Commander, please give me the order to cut that guy down!
Kazama: Che, listen to me! It's not that I don't know how to restore us to our original states. It's just that this method will be extremely difficult to accomplish.
Hijikata:……Difficult [Difficult how]……?
Kazama: It's simple to get back to our original states. The teapot with the medicine in it is still in the kitchen. We just need to drink more of that medicine, the "New and Improved Ishida Sanyaku."
Harada: I feel that I want to complain about the name of that medicine since it's a bit too subtle.... But will that really work?!
Kazama: Of course. As I possess the noble bloodline of the oni, it's impossible for me to lie.
Hijikata: For the time being, we'll believe what you say. For the time being, we'll believe what you say. You said it'd be difficult, but shouldn't being able to get into the kitchen smoothly, be the only problem?
Saito: Indeed. Just from the drop to the ground, which looks as high a wall, you can definitely infer how difficult it will be to get to the kitchen...
Kazama: That's right. As a dog who can only wag his head and wag his tail, that ability to understand is really good.
Harada: How is it that I feel angry whenever I hear you say something nasty [reword later].... Well, since we're like this, if we have more people, we'll be able to solve this problem sooner.
Hijikata: Speaking of which...... if someone would pass by/if someone just passed by......
(voices heard in distance)
Souji: Eh~ really, I don't always want to be doing this every time~
Heisuke: Don't say that. Hijikata-san should be back at his room now, right?
Hijikata: Those voices just now...... are Souji and Heisuke's?
Saito: Souji! Heisuke! Come here......! Mmph......! (mouth gets covered by Harada)
Harada: Don't be impulsive, Saito!!
Saito (weakly) What are you doing......!
Harada: I'm telling you/Listen [to me], just think about it! Even if Heisuke helps, the other person there is Souji!
Hijikata: If that guy finds out that we're tiny/this small, who knows how he would react!
Saito: (gasps and moves Harada's hand away) Ha...... Indeed, he'd treat us like toys and handle us as if we were straw...... just imagining that gives me the chills [reword later]......
Kazama: Che, as expected of a pack of dogs made up of rogues and villains. It's amazing that how you don't even have confidence/trust in your own companions.
Hijikata: Shut up! Under these circumstances...! Perhaps Souji is the only exception!
Harada: In the first place, what should we be doing, Hijikata-san? We have to do something, so should we just tell Heisuke about what happened?
Hijikata: Uh………… No, let's pretend to be dolls for a while. After, we can wait for Yamazaki or maybe Gen-san....... ah, there's still Chizuru, [but] we should wait for someone reasonable to pass by.
Kazama: What are you saying? You're actually telling me to pretend to be a doll [reword later]!?
Hijikata; Shut up and just do as I say! Even if it's you, if you can't get back to normal, won't you have a lot of problems!
Kazama: Che. There's nothing to be done/that can be done about it then.
Harada: Heisuke's coming! Everyone stop talking!
(door slides open)
Heisuke: Hijikata-san~! Hah!? Still not here......
Okita: That's strange. I just heard a very quiet voice just now, so I thought Hajime-kun was here. (looks around) Anyhow, why have these dolls that were placed here, so scattered around [reword later/thesaurus]? Furthermore, this/And this strange doll with blond hair, I don't remember seeing it earlier.
Toudou: What is this, a doll of Kazama? There's even one of one of Sano-san, but why isn't there one of these odd dolls of you or me, Souji?
(Heisuke pokes Kazama's head)
Kazama: You bastard......! The only one in the world who is allowed to touch me, is my wife...!
Harada: Come on, don't talk, just be patient!
Souji: These two figures look very much like Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun... Come look at them, they look pretty funny/interesting~
(Souji pokes Hijikata's head)
Hijikata:………………!!!!
Saito:…………!
Okita: Nn? I seemed to have heard something strange?
Harada: Well since these are Hijikata-san's things, if you play around too much with them, he'll get super angry~
Souji: That's right. But, if we just leave them here like this, isn't it likely for that cat to play around with them [reword later]?
Heisuke: It's as you say though since they were already left in a mess, maybe that cat messed them up [reword later].
Souji: In that case, why don't we just put them all into a box? They can be also put into a closet where the cat won't be able to reach them.
Saito: ………………What!?
Harada: If that happens, won't we be unable to move!?
Hijikata: This bastard/guy, he just had to come up with such a rotten idea right now!
Heisuke: Let's hold onto them for the time being then. Anyway, we still need to come back later and give give the report for our patrol. At the time, we can return these to Hijikata-san.
Souji: You're not thinking about taking these back to your room to prank them because you're upset about the faces of these dolls, right [i think? reword later]?
Heisuke: This idea of yours won't be any good/You're the only one who would come up with such a bad idea... well, then I'll take the Sano-san and Kazama dolls for to hold onto for safekeeping.
Kazama: Kuh......! Things are getting more and more complicated...
--To be continued...?---
#hakuoki#hakuouki#hakuoki drama translation#hakuoki drama cd#hakuoki yuugiroku#Hijikata Toshizou#Saito Hajime#Okita Souji#Toudou Heisuke#harada sanosuke#Kazama Chikage
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5:18am 1/23/2022 99 Luftballons-Nena Mood: Pensive **As a 15 some year user of LiveJournal, I tend to update my blogs here as such* I tried 4x to update this blog (see last post) and Im at half a mind to just start a new blog to keep more personal because as that was the original intention job nof this one, I've unfortunately let myself open. I can no longer continue to do that. But here I am. I've been trying to be consistent with keeping this blog updated, if anything for posterity. I've been so busy attempting to work on my mental health and then with school and my hand I haven't had time to process that I've already been back home a month. It seems like less, but sometimes more. It looks and feels so different from when I left 7 years ago. I left July 2014 with a broken heart, no money, broken trust, and no stability. Of course minor work experience. I moved to Virginia with the only plan in mind was to finish school so I can go to college, my lifelong dream was either in NY or LA, I knew that, but for the time being I had to stay in VA, until I at least finished school and got some kind of tech degree. (about 2/3 years). Seems like something right? I did the opposite. On top of that, The support system I should of had turned out to be a dud and that's me putting it nicely. I didnt have anyone to talk to, turn to or confide in. I ended up paying therapy for nothing and had no stable place to live the entire time I was there. The only upsides I had was a little girl I met at a job I had named Layla and my dear friend Chloe. (Eventually I got my cat Nala, that was my only upside in the last few months I was there) I left Virginia because I had no choice, I was living in a raggedy ass motel that's probably older than my parents surrounded by drug dealers, ex-cons and trash. Guys, this is the part of my celebrity memoir that's gonna make it a best seller. On top of that, my landlord was an 80 something year old man who'd constantly sexually harass me and had me cornered in his room, in the kitchen and in well...everywhere and dont get me started on the bed bugs. I moved to Texas as a last ditch effort to get my shit together....and 3 years went by and all I did was become more depressed, raggedy and do nothing but work for nothing. Cause the money I made even with 2 raises was trash. Then they cut my hours for the dumbest reason (which I still dont believe) and I spent 4 months doing what? Working part time and never catching up with anything, I didnt even have time to organize my paperwork and properly explain before I left. They seemed genuinely sad to see me leave, yet since I've been gone they've been acting shady and claiming they dont owe me OT when they know damn well I used to come on weekends and stay after 5pm for like 2 yrs at least. I still havent gotten my last paycheck. And like I said, it's been over a month. Cant even call the clinic. cause you'd think, a medical facility, would have their phones ON. Ok, now Im mad. I'll be back. 10:08am
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oh you're actually leaving. thought you were joking. :( byeee enjoy .... whatever is ahead i guess lols
To whomever it may concern
I've decided that even if it comes out that their dating scandal is not true, I've decided to leave tumblr behind as well as kpop
Someone's life decisions shouldn't impact me like this. It's not normal nor healthy. My reaction was very extreme and I'm not proud of it but I can't help the fact that I feel this way, and it's not correct.
I am also not proud of what my blog has become, through my unpopular opinions I have shared and received hate and that's not what I wanted, all I wanted was to debate with people that knew more than I did because I was uneducated in a lot of things when I came here.
I have to accept that kpop will never be the same kpop I loved back then, a neither will the community. The kpop community has grown to be very, very toxic, and just a place that I don't want to be in anymore.
Kpop was something very big in my life but I feel like I have to move on and give it less importance from now on
As I said, it's become a very toxic environment and it's not healthy
To be honest the only reason I held onto this blog was because I loved the interactions and discussions (not fights, discussions) I have with you guys, its genuinely fun and interesting to have this much interaction
To be fair I havent put in a kpop song to casually listen to while I'm cleaning, driving or just relaxing in months. And I didn't realize it up until now when I've decided to leave the community. There's songs that will always live in my heart. Haru Haru will forever be a song that I love dearly. It wasn't about the music anymore and that should be all kpop is about. The music.
But the bad outweighs the good and I feel like I need to grow a little and stop the 'I won't leave out of spite 💅' ordeal and finally leave
It's just not worth it anymore
It was tiring always looking over my shoulder and always having the feeling people were mocking me, and always being filled with hate
I wasn't putting a tough front when I said I didn't care about the hate, no matter what anyone told me, I never did care. I've lived a life where I've had a lot of stuff said to me, and I've learned some people aren't gonna like me, so what? It's the internet, tough shit someone hates me. But yes, it wasn't nice receiving hate, it never is. And it got tiring always havung to watch my mouth and whatnot...
Writing stopped being fun a long time ago, it started being repeating and I felt like was creativity had to be limited to write smut because you wouldn't really support anything else, as it was proved by that last fic I posted. It's not your fault at all, you read and support what you want, it was just discouraging to me.
Take care of your creators here in this platform
I wish you all, even the ones I hate, all the best
To all my mutuals and dear anons, thank you for sticking with me, thank you for all the unconditional love and support, I hope life smiles at you and I wish you all the happiness in the world, if you need me you know where to find me
I believe this decision was for the best, it's already hard coordinating my life at home and at uni (2 different houses, 4 different friend groups, exams, real life dramas...), I don't need to have more drama and more stuff to keep up with, I feel like this will give me a lot of peace of mind now that I'm trying to reduce how much I hate everything, I just want to be ok, and I feel like stepping away will do that
Thank you for allowing me to have one last dance
- Trixie
PS. I will be deleting all I said about this issue tomorrow, I don't want the last posts of my blog to be filled with hate
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